Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
