uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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