i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
