Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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