I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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