so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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