Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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