How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize