My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
