On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
