i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
