please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
