I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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