I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wish i was in the wii world.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
