I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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