Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
