okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
