The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
