glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
