Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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