It's Friday. Sex?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
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I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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