Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just had sex on a roof
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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