Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
