If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
