ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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