he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
