do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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