a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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