I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
