just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
