I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
