Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
