You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize