Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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