I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
