no, he came in my armpit
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
