hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
