just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
