Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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