Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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