Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
