FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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