ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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