Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry sal22 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(212): View more from New York

yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?

Fav 28 873 2183
share tweet
(323): View more from California

my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.

Fav 9 1065 4039
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(541): View more from Oregon

Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.

Fav 18 5558 1193
share tweet
(616): View more from Michigan

our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.

Fav 13 6806 1421
share tweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(573): View more from Missouri

On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.

Fav 3 2306 1055
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.

Fav 8 2509 1264
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(313): View more from Michigan

Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.

Fav 6 1184 665
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(650): View more from California

sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.

Fav 1 42 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.

Fav 0 61 16
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT