You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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