Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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