She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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