I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
