Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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