lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
