wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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