what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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