I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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