I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
