dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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