I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
