similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
